I held out hope that maybe today I would get a call from CASA offering me the job, but I'm thinking that ship has sailed. I'm really very put out and confused by all the interviewing I've done lately. After spending an entire day reading through materials on the company, the lady didn't even ask me any questions. Seriously. Basically I asked a few questions and she told me about the company. That was it. No "what are your strengths?" Nothing. It was the most disappointing interview I've ever been to. I left there going "wtf just happened?" To boot it was a 2 hour drive there and 2 hours back. So she totally wasted my time. I really wanted that job too, and I was more than qualified for it. I was excited to get the interview...and then that happens. God really hates me.

I'm even starting to have nightmares about bad job interviews. Last night I dreamt that I was in a group interview, and while the other candidates were asked serious questions, the lady asked me if I had pets and what my favorite color was. UGH! I'm tired of this. Finding a job should not be this hard.

When I got the opportunity to interview for this job tomorrow, I told myself not to get worked up about it and get my hopes up...Well, so much for that. I feel damn near convinced that this is *it*, this is *the* job. I don't know if I'm just totally kidding myself or what, but I've started going a tad overboard. I've talked with my parents about the apartments in Frisco and they've decided on their own that as soon as I get the job (God willing, please dear Lord) they're fronting me the money so I can move in. There are several apartments available with the floorplans I want, so hopefully they will stay open. I've started making a list of things I will need (dishes and whatnots) and even going through some things that have been lying around trying to decide what I'm taking. Short of packing my bags I'm literally ready to go.

I spent much of this morning going over information about CASA, the history, the mission/goals, and even reading through a volunteer manual to find out more about what they do and how my role as a caseworker would tie into that. I'm really not sure what to expect tomorrow, but I'm hoping beyond hope that I get this job. I need this job. I want this job. This has got to be it. If it is not, I tell the reader I will be absolutely beside myself. There's only so much rejection a person can handle. I'm more than qualified to do this. I have the backing of my peers, Trina talked me up to this lady before I sent in my resume. Let this be it. Please!

Alright...so I took a two hour nap and feel more refreshed to regale you all with my story about the soap sale. This morning I had a group interview for a teller position with Wells Fargo. There were more candidates in that interview than I'd ever seen and I almost didn't even stay to endure the torture. There ended up being almost 15 of us. There were 7 managers from various bank locations, all with positions open in their stores. We all had to answer several questions about ourselves, our experience, accomplishments, etc. It was a little bit like the first day of class when you have to play the "get to know your classmate" games. Stupid. Very stupid.

So the whole group interview lasted about 2 hours, and then the managers went through their notes on us and picked out the ones they wanted to interview individually. The recruiter lady was like "if I call your name, stay; if your name isn't called, thanks for your interest and we'll be in touch." At this point I was hoping they'd call my name because I wasn't really interested in taking the position. Number 1: the pay is $10/hr. Number 2: I'd have to work *every* Saturday, no exceptions. Bee-double-o. Unfortunately, my name was called. The Coppell manager wanted to interview me.

So in the individual interview it was more traditional in that they asked me the usual questions about my experience and why Wells Fargo, etc. Then they wanted to get a feel for my sales style so they asked me to participate in a role play. At this point I'm thinking "are you freaking serious?" In my counseling program we role played all the time, so it wasn't a big deal, but the guy was like "just think of some product and try to sell me on it." I was thinking "Holy shit! What the heck could I possible sell?" The only blasted thing that came to mind was soap. Yeah, that's right...Soap. >_< I role played a Wal-Mart associate giving out free samples of Dove soap and giving reasons why the customer should try it. At one point I was even like "are you married?... women love the scent of dove soap and it leaves your skin feeling soft to the touch." REALLY!?!?! Did I seriously go there in an interview!?! The guy got a huge kick out of that and was like "well, I'm sold." That was the single most...something of my life. I left the interview laughing at myself and going "Really? Soap? You dumbass."

I have an interview with CASA Monday at 2:30 and I'm totally excited about it. I'm meeting with La Bella Mafia tomorrow (Trina and her girlfriends call themselves La Bella Mafia) to get some tips on working for CASA. They've all worked their before and have some good materials for me to read before going in so I sound like I know a thing or two. I hooooope beyond hope that I get the CASA job. I've already started the apartment search again in anticipation of getting a job and found a place in Frisco that I totally love. I've found so many places in that area, but the one I chose will depend on where I end up working and how much I make. Check it out! I'm debating between the Serenity floorplan and the Kinetic. Really there isn't a whole lot of difference. Just the loss of a few square feet. We'll see. I try not to let myself get too far ahead in the whole job/moving thing because I always end up disappointed and depressed when I don't get the job. I have a good feeling this time though. So, *fingers crossed*!!

So *this* is what utter exhaustion feels like. Wow. What a fascinatingly terrible experience. I feel both totally detached from my body and totally grounded...mainly connected just by my eyeballs though. I've been trying to reset my sleep cycle the last few days and all I can say is: never mess with the natural rhythm of your body or it will hate you forever. I attempted to stay up all night the other night and made it until 8am. Then I was like "a two hour nap won't hurt." That turned into a 3 hour nap, then about 4 hours later I crashed. I slept through dinner and pretty much slept until about 9 or 10 that night. I somehow managed to go to bed around 3 or 4 the next morning and slept pretty well, but still ended up napping during the day. Last night I was actually tired by 1:30, but I didn't fall asleep until 2 and then at 4am my body decided that it was time to wake up. I was supposed to get up at 5:45 to get ready for an interview, so I was up way early. Now it's 3:15 and I feel like I'm dying. I cannot *wait* for night time. Seriously. I am soooo exhausted.

The interview went well btw...Remind me to write about it later and tell you about my sales pitch for soap...

Oh I am soooooooo relieved right now and very hopeful!

Yesterday Trina gave me a heads up on a job lead in McKinney with CASA (court appointed advocates for children of abuse and neglect). It's a caseworker job, which is what I have been looking for. She called the director to inquire about it and talked me up a bit and the lady told her to tell me to get my stuff to her ASAP because the position had not been filled yet. I sent it in that very day and today I got an email from the lady to schedule an interview.

I am suuuuper excited. McKinney is less than 30 minutes from Flower Mound, so I could live pretty much anywhere between the two areas. Definitely better than the hour and a half distance now. I really hope that I get this job. Please pray/keep your fingers crossed/do a dance/anything that might be helpful for me.

Tomorrow I have an interview with Wells Fargo, which is one of my last resort job things, but I'm certainly not accepting anything until after I hear from the CASA one. I feel very relieved at this point. After not having one response in months this just feels so great. I hope, hope, hooooope this is the one.

I've kept a slider thing in my profile to mark my weight loss but I'd like to make a new tracker thing here so I can monitor the progress until I reach my goal weight.

Start Goal: 145 lbs


Ultimate Goal: 130 lbs


Total Weight Loss Thus Far:


I'd *like* to be 130 lbs, but I really don't know if I can get down that low. I'm going to do my best though. I'm proud of my success thus far and though I'm still overweight, I really don't feel "fat" like I did before. I don't feel *skinny* but I don't feel fat. ;-)

We'll see how it goes!!

I've really been wanting to get a new reptile for a while now. Ever since Bing died several years ago I've been trying to decide what kind of animal I want. I think I've definitely decided on a reptile, most likely a lizard.

I'd really like to have a skink of some sort. I love their coloring. I found a picture of one I really like.



I wouldn't mind having another fat-tailed gecko, but I think I'd like something different. Something slow moving and friendly. I think snakes are neat, but I don't know that I'd want to own one. Adam was taking care of his roommate's snake and it died. It was living outside and I'm pretty sure Adam didn't give it enough water. I felt so bad for the snake. It was a constrictor and hadn't been messed with for a while so it wasn't very nice, but I hate when any kind of animal suffers. I know Adam felt really bad about it, though.

Any suggestions on a new pet? I've got to start thinking about names too. What I get will influence the name though...so maybe I'll hold off on that.

Avatar in GIF for Guzzy

I identify with a few...

1.) Remus Lupin (Harry Potter)... He is very gentle and sweet. Intelligent. Has very few friends, but the ones he has he holds onto for life. Caring, empathetic, a little on the mischievous side. Also has a bit of a dark side.

2.) Rosencrantz (Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead)... He is easily amused, very child-like and endearing. Curious. A deep thinker. Playful. Aloof.

3.) Marianne (Sense and Sensibility)...Young, naive, idealistic, a romanticist. She's a bit of a rebel, going against what society expects of woman of her station in life, and learns life's lessons the hard way. When she loves, she loves completely and fiercely.

Rules:
01. Anyone who looks at this entry has to post this meme and their current wallpaper at their LiveJournal.
02. Explain in five sentences why you're using that
03. Don't change your wallpaper before doing this! The point is to see what you had on!

( Wallpaper )

[1] List 10 celebrities you would make out with without even asking questions.
[2] Put them in whatever order you choose.
[3] Say which movie/show/thing it was that hooked you.
[4] Supply photos for said people.

( Celebrities )

Thinking of writing a Rosencrantz/Guildenstern fic...possibly just Gary Oldman/Tim Roth...Not sure. No real ideas currently.

Tired of being sick. It's gone from head into my chest. Feels like bronchitis now. Ugh.

Tagged again! Let's see what I can come up with now...

( More Randomness )

Right now I think there is only one friend (Shemp) I would choose over my significant other. I'm finding out that a lot of my friends are not as close as I once thought. For example...I visited my brother and his family Thursday and Friday to take my nephews to Schlitterbahn. Thursday night I met with one of my friends from middle school who now lives in Louisiana, but was in Austin visiting her mom. My friend is gay, which I have no problem with, but she decided to bring her significant other to dinner with us, which I was also fine with. I've known my friend for 15 years. When I met her on the door step I gave her a hug, as I do with any of my best friends, and that immediately set off the girlfriend. She spend the *entire* dinner in the bathroom crying because she thought I was hitting on Denise. Um...no. A.) I'm not even remotely interested in chicks and B.) If I was, I would have hit on Denise 15 years ago. So I spent the duration of dinner alone because Denise was in the bathroom consoling her woman.

We went back to Denise's mom's house and while I was visiting with her mom the drama queen gf was outside still making a scene and Denise was still trying to console her. Finally, an hour later I was like "yeah, I'm just going to go." I see Denise maybe once every five years now so it really irked me that I got to spend maybe five minutes total with her. She texted me later and apologized but I told her that next time her gf was not invited and that I thought that was rude and uncalled for.

I'm really sick of drama and I've decided that I just cannot be friends with lesbians. There are relatively few women I actually get along with, and you throw a romantic relationship between two of them in the mix and that's just a headache waiting to happen. All the lesbians I'm friends with are just too much maintenance. Denise and Annette...Ginger and Leslie...Crystal and her string of girls. No thanks. More power to you, ladies, if your gay, but let's just stay acquaintances because I hate drama and I don't want to deal with yours.

So yeah...for anyone but Shemp I would choose Adam over them.

So a while back I started a Mulcahy fic with Gail Harris in it and haven't continued it since. Tonight I watched the Nurse Doctor episode and was inspired to continue it, so here is the second installment for anyone who is interested. For those of you who need to re-read (or read for the first time) part one, click here. Otherwise you may continue to part two...

( Still Untitled )

Stolen from mjls

Step 1: Put your iTunes or equivalent on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 30 songs that play, not matter how embarrassing.
Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!

( On to the Meme )

Sorry I can't be there on your special day, but I hope it's a great one!!

Today's my last day of work. I've gone through my employee exit checklist and sent the emails and made the calls I needed to make and this afternoon I turned in my keys to the office. It's very scary to be leaving here without a job lined up, but God knows I have spent the last year looking. They keep saying the Texas economy wasn't as hard hit, but that's a damned lie. What really sucks is that I'm over-qualified for most jobs so they won't hire me, or I'm under-qualified because I'm not licensed so they won't hire me. What the hell is wrong with this picture?

Whatever. I really feel like I'm spinning my wheels in life. I feel like a loser because I can't get a job. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do. I'm going to the Texas Workforce Commission tomorrow to see if they can help me, then some day I'm going up to Fort Worth and Dallas and going to personnel services. Someone has to have something...

I'm irked that I'm sitting here in the office doing nothing. I'm even off in a side room away from the front because I'm not needed. Why exactly am I here? I could be doing something productive...

Life just kind of sucks right now. Blah.

I've been bugging Adam to teach me about Dungeons and Dragons for a while and he finally gave me the player's guidebook to read. Well...that could have been a mistake because now I'm all about D&D. I'm researching the Forgotten Realms so I can learn the history and stuff because I'm actually intending on writing a little "fan fiction" series based on the character I've created. My character is a half-elf named Lostariel (some form of Elvish for Chloe). I was going to have her be a human raised by Elves, but decided I wanted a longer life, so I made her a half-elf. She's going to be kind of a tomboy and a rebel (aligned with chaotic good), a bit mischievous, and born with a tendency to wander. Her nickname is "Lost" which is fitting because as she would wander off as a child, she would get lost in the forest. I'm planning on calling the fic The Lost Series. I found a picture on Deviant art that I'd like to base her off of, but I'll need to contact the artist. Maybe commission something from him. I kind of did of a modification of the picture and colored it in photoshop, but if he'll agree to draw me what I'm looking for, then that would rock!

Chapter 9 is still coming along... I have to be in a mood to write intimate stuff and I haven't really felt it lately, so right now it's hanging in the balance. I'm terrible, I know. I'll finish it eventually. I still have to get to the part I've planned to write...stupid time frame and filler chapters.